Of the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance), I seem to be pretty solidly stuck between anger and depression. April's gone, and no amount of bargaining is going to do me any good, though I do feel inclined to bargain with other people so that they don't put me through this again.
I saw my cousins, most of them for the first time in years, at April's party and the first thought that crossed my mind was "wow, we all got fat." The 25 and under crowd was *mostly* not chunky, but the over 25 crowd (10 of us, just counting me and my cousins, not counting the 'rents who've all put on a few since turning 50) could collectively have benefited from loosing a couple hundred pounds.
I feel inclined to tell everybody to get off their asses, step away from the junk food, and eat properly. I don't expect anyone to do a 30 day fresh vegetable juice fast, though I'd be thrilled if they would. I don't expect anyone to fundamentally change their food philosophy (going vegan, or becoming a meat eater in the case of my vegan cousin). While I generally have opinions on how people should live their lives, I don't try to force them down anyone's throat. I wish I had a polite, non-pushy, rational plea that they would listen to.
I just want people to eat real, whole, nutrient dense body building foods, and maybe get a little exercise.
How do I do that without sounding like I'm blaming April's lifestyle choices for her disease? I don't know what caused her disease, but I do know that her lifestyle did not help her fight it. She even shirked taking vitamin when it was suggested to her if she didn't want to eat well (her sister's pushing, not mine, I give advice when asked). I'd already found a doctor who specialized in vitamin therapy for cancer in her area, if she ever had a change of heart, but she didn't.