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Just so I can be clear to the universe, because nobody here is… - Collection of Mental Lint and other Minutia
August 12th, 2013
11:28 am

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Just so I can be clear to the universe, because nobody here is listening....

I give NOTHING but good advice to our kids. It's not my fault that you've come to me with yet another problem that equates to "I have to eat a shit sandwich, what should I do?" In the realm of what's realistically possible, you have to eat the shit sandwich. Do it now, do it quickly, cover it in BBQ sauce, or hot sauce, or whatever you think will mask the taste and let it go down as easily as possible. If you avoid eating the shit sandwich, it's not going to get any fresher, and eventually someone is going to force it down your throat, and they're not going to offer you BBQ sauce. Just get it over with.

Are there other solutions? Sure, but none that are in any way likely. I mean, we could win the lottery, if we played, and pay to make the shit sandwich go away. In our reality, we just don't have the kind of money needed to make that happen. Could we come up with enough money? Oh, sure, if we want to stop paying for our cars, and home, and not eat for a few months, maybe then we could conjure enough money to make this go away. Had you not burned bridges, there are other people who might have even helped pay to make the shit sandwich go away. But you're 19, so you didn't listen when we advised you not to torch those bridges. You also could have eaten the shit sandwich back when it was just a small bite instead of waiting for it to become quadruple sized sandwich, but you didn't want to listen to that advice either. I'd be a supremely happy Mom if they'd stop looking at the menu and ordering shit, but I've made myself hoarse telling them that little gem.

Maybe today, you'll listen to good advice. I can dream.

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